What kind of runner are you?

I think very few people fit neatly into well described stereotypes of any type. However, with that being said, I think the following "runners" are commonly found. Most people are probably some hybrid of a few of these, or simply are similar to one or another.

I will attempt to arrange these in descending order of "intensity" but the middle ones are certainly debatable.

1. "The Pro" - These are the guys (or gals) that have sponsors, get their name on their bib, instead of a number like the rest of us and get their own water bottle handed to them during a race. The Pros are fairly well quarantined from us common folk, so no one really knows what they're like. The look really skinny, generally have legs that would appear to begin at their nipples and wear tank tops and short shorts until the weather gets below zero; then they add gloves and maybe some eye muffs. The Pro will not only have a subscription to Runner’s World, but will have appeared in it.

2. "The wanna be Pro" - When you go to small local races you greatly increase your chances of spotting one of these runners. They're willing insult people or throw elbows to be on the front line of the start. They generally have fancy matching tops and bottoms, but it doesn't seem to be required. Although there is an occasional female in this group, it is definitely male dominated. No one knows what these folks do outside of running because it's all they talk about. They regiment their diet; they track, film, analyze and measure their gate, stride and shoe wear. The wanna be Pro has no interest in winning the "age group" awards and will frequently bail before the awards ceremony if they don't place in the overall. These athletes tend to group into clicks and although some groups seem to compete within their group with joy, most group with the concept of "keep your friends close...and your enemies closer." A quick test to determine if someone is in this group is to walk up to them and ask what their rest heart rate and peak heart rate are. If they know...they're in! The Wanna be Pro will also have a Runner’s World subscription but will also be familiar with far more obscure publications and may even keep up with the college and pro running circuits.

3. The Enthusiast - The enthusiast runs a lot, just not necessarily fast. They compete to best of their ability; they just weren't dealt a lot of ability sometimes. On occasion, Wanna be Pros will convert to an Enthusiast later in life, either after a major injury or repeated frustrations spurned from getting older. The enthusiast is still interested in age group awards and will quietly scope out the crowd before the run starts to see they have a shot at something. The dress code for the enthusiast ranges widely, but will generally have nice shoes and more than one pair of them. Some will even have a set for just running races. Enthusiasts are not as committed to the overall sport as the Pros but will log their mileage and are more prone to not running with music. A sub-set of the Enthusiast is the purest. Purists can be "Marathoners" or "Middle distance" runners, but these folks will only run other length races as "tune-ups". Although most runners know that when someone says they're running a tune-up it means that either they're not going to try OR they're trying but they want a really good excuse if their time doesn't look so good. The enthusiasts will run as many 30 or more races in a year and will even run two races on the same weekend. The enthusiast understands the concept of probability and is willing to run races at 5:30 am in a town an hour away if it increases the odds getting something or if they give out a really good T-shirt. The enthusiast make up roughly half the members of running clubs, the other half is split amongst the two Pro categories and the Hobbyists. Most enthusiasts know their “PR” times for more than one race distance and will even occasionally break it down further depending on if the race was loop or out and back.
4. The Hobbyist – The Hobbyist is only subtlety different from the Enthusiast, but the Hobbyist makes up the bulk of the running community. The Hobbyist runs races for the T-shirt or the camaraderie or the scenery and doesn’t really think about awards. Many of the Hobbyists stay for the awards ceremony and enjoy the after run chats and snacks as much as the run itself. Although they’re called races, the Hobbyist is the first category that is ONLY racing against themselves, if at all. Distance is not important to Hobbyists in general, but their purists amongst Hobbyists as well and they are mostly marathoners. Hobbyists are less prone to track mileage, pace and diet; but may track one or more of them. Hobbyists don’t have special training regiments, would never hire a personal trainer and run mostly for reasons they don’t fully understand themselves. The Hobbyists are generally friendly people and contain the widest range of body types and general appearance. The Hobbyists may collect souvenirs from their experiences such as finisher’s medals, race numbers or the borderline enthusiast item; the quilt made of race T-shirts. Many Hobbyists would be unable to name any current Professional runners, but are familiar with what an impressive time would be.
5. The Poser – We’ve all chuckled at a poser at one point or another in our lives; running is not exempt. The Poser may have run cross country or track in High School, two decades or more ago. Something in their current life spurs them to relive old times, but their path to the race didn’t include training, logic, an updated wardrobe or even common sense. Posers are oblivious to the fact that their gut is hanging out of their three sizes too small tank top. They don’t know that Chuck Taylor’s are no long “good” athletic shoes and they headbands were out of style for more years than our current President has been alive. Unfortunately they occasionally drag their children into their mistake or perhaps vice versa. Another type of poser doesn’t understand you don’t run in blue jeans no matter how cold it is…and especially not in seventy degree weather. They may also wear baseball caps or a full face of make-up depending on gender.
6. The rookie – The best indicator of a rookie at a race is that they are wearing that race’s T-shirt. I have a few words for rookies. First, welcome, we are a welcoming community and we’re more than willing to take you in. Second, take that shirt back off, I know you’re running this race because it’s for some charity (only the rookies tend to know the charity) but you haven’t washed it yet and did you not wear a shirt here? Third, don’t sprint at the start, unless you’re from Nairobi, you won’t hold that pace. Forth, stay for the awards, it’s a great place to meet and greet with enthusiasts and hobbyists (avoid the wanna be’s and posers). Fifth, stretch when you’re done or that’s going to hurt tomorrow morning.
7. The “I didn’t really think this through” rookie – or as I like to say, the Oprah effect. Their intentions are pure, but their logic is flawed. You use a race to summarize or validate a training regiment, NOT to start it. I always hope these people don’t get hurt and eventually become a category above, but unfortunately they rarely succeed at even finishing that first half marathon even at walking pace and either get hurt or instantly lose all momentum (pardon the pun) in their diet/fitness goals. Not that I encourage this behavior in any sense, but at least start with a 5k, please.
8. The workout enthusiasts or cross trainers – These are the folks who run strictly for the purpose of enhancing their performance in some other sport or strictly to improve the look of their body. These are the folks out for a jog at 8 am and running the opposite direction of the race you’re in and they looked baffled at how many people are “racing” and truly don’t understand why. These folks are harmless and very rarely claim to be “runners”. Many of them are seasonal based on the season of their primary sport.
9. The free spirit – Essentially anyone who doesn’t remotely fit above. These range from “dudes” that appear much like Cheeck or Chong to runner’s who are just painfully shy or anti-social but like to get out the house so they’ll run a race on occasion.

For anyone who cares, I’m about 75% enthusiast, 25% hobbyist….approximately